Lance on Marriage

Zukeya and I

Ephesians 5:25

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, an gave himself for it;”

This may seem easy when you first read it, but if you really evaluate how we as husbands should follow this Word all the way through.  See Christ loved the church so much that he gave himself for it.  We as husbands must do the same.  You may say to yourselves well I am ready to give my life.  “Let her have it.”  But what He is calling us to is much harder.  See He was able to die and then ressurect, but He is calling us to die while we yet live.

Die to ourselves.  Everyday of our lives a little more dies in order to keep the marriage.  Today it may be our former lifestyle, tomorrow it could be something else.

5-13-2010:  A quote I read today I think is fitting for this topic on marriage.

“The most successful marriages are those where both husband and wife seek to build the self-esteem of the other. . .” Dr. James Dobson; Straight Talk to Men and Their Wives

3-12-2012:  In June of this year my wife and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage.  It has been a journey to say the least.  We’ve had our good days and we have had our bad.  There have been times where we didn’t think we were going to make it, but it was in those times where God stepped in to save us.  There have also been those times where we couldn’t get enough of eachother.  We spent lots of time together even if it was just a game of UNO, or scrabble.  It was in those moments that I realized the little things matter in a marriage. 

I remember reading the book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, because it’s all small stuff.”   I understand the premise, that we shouldn’t get all worked up about small issues that happen in life, but I do believe the little things, or the small things, such as a kiss goodbye in the morning, or a short call in the afternoon just to see how your day is going, or a text saying I love you, or a surprise visit for lunch.  These small gestures can keep fire lit, and remind eachother that you truly value them.  So I will say, yes don’t sweat the small stuff, but remember the little things.

More to come.  But feel free to dialogue at any time.

  1. by on March 28, 2012 - 10:27 pm

    Congratulations on 10 years of marriage – that’s definitely an achievement to be proud of!

    It’s strange how the “small things” can be the difference between being happy or falling apart. Focusing on the negative small things seems to lead to an overwhelming amount of negative feelings in the relationship, but focusing on the positive small things can hold the relationship together and really feed the love!

    Great post.

  2. by on August 27, 2011 - 4:14 pm

    Lance, couldn’t agree more with your post and I love the quote mentioned too. That is the key right there!

  3. by on December 13, 2010 - 8:43 pm

    Little bit more to you then I know. I dig the article Lance. Looking forward to reading more.

  4. by Lauren Coleman on November 15, 2010 - 9:23 pm

    Hey Lance,

    I totally agree with the quote…it is important for the husband to build up the wife & for the wife to build up the husband! I have been married for a little over 2 years now & I see how important it is for a husband to hear verbally from his wife that she has his back no matter what and that the wife will always be in his corner. So many woman these days have no idea that if you would just focus more than 5% of your energy saying something positive rather than speaking negative, it will take you far in your marriage.

    Woman, even if you see that your husband did/said something that you thought was “stupid”, you don’t have to tell him that he is “stupid”. You say, “We” will do this together and just pray together constantly and individually. You would be suprised that if you would just keep your mouth shut sometimes and just pray for your husband–the prayer sent up to God will have a far greater impact that your mouth! I don’t apologize for being so blunt, I just really want women to understand how the bible says, “Life and Death is in the Power of your tongue!” You have the choice to speak life into him or death–Which one shall you choose?

    Lauren Coleman

  5. by Lance Lawshe on November 2, 2010 - 9:18 pm

    Glenda and Jack. Thanks for your encouragement. What is one of your pearls of wisdom for couples in marriage. Please share.

  6. by on November 2, 2010 - 3:25 pm

    I was looking around for blogs pertaining to marriage and found yours. I think the Dobson quote you gave is so vital to all marriages. Great quote—husbands and wives need to do everything possible to lift each other up.

    Nice post.
    Glenda

  7. by on July 12, 2009 - 3:26 pm

    How you been famo,

    Just wanted to say peace, and I’m happy for you.

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